Paradigms and Perceptions

At the risk of being cliched (and trust me I know I’m a cliche…so where’s the risk you might ask) I want to quote from “The Shack”.

Recently, a friend asked me if I ever got really angry about the loss of my leg.  And I said, somewhat ruefully, “Well I guess so because you know what they say…’Depression is just anger without enthusiasm’”.  And in this I identified with the character of MacKenzie (from The Shack) and what he called The Great Sadness.

“Emotions are the colors of the soul; they are spectacular and incredible. When you don’t feel, the world becomes dull and colorless. Just think how The Great Sadness reduced the range of color in your life down to monotones and flat grays and blacks.”

“So help me understand them,” pleaded Mack.

“Not much to understand, actually. They just are. They are neither bad nor good; they just exist. Here is something that will help you sort this out in your mind, Mackenzie. Paradigms power perception and perception power emotions. Most emotions are responses to perception-what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false, then your emotional response to it will be false too. So check your perceptions, and beyond that check the truthfulness of your paradigms - what you believe. Just because you believe something firmly doesn’t make it true. Be willing to reexamine what you believe. The more you live in the truth, the more your emotions will help you see clearly. But even then, you don’t want to trust them more than me.”

I have always understood at an intellectual level that your emotions are clues to what you believe…and if you have depressive moods that you may be believing something that is causing those feelings.  I quoted Einstein my my last post and I think that what he said speaks to this quite well.  He talked about how if we believe in an unfriendly universe then we will do everything in our power to protect ourselves.  I think that is what depression is, a desperate attempt to protect oneself against the pain in our lives…and we know everyone experiences pain.  Sadly, this stance produces a world with more pain (because pain becomes amplified when we try to avoid it) and life loses it’s color, it’s texture, and it’s richness.  And I am a master of avoiding pain. 

It is only when I accept pain, with all the messy emotions that go with it, that I become honest enough to hear what God wants to speak into that moment.  Because it really is a multi-step process of being honest about how I feel, and in that process turning my heart towards God to hear his voice.  It sounds like 2 steps but I think it is an incremental process and looks different for each unique person and situation. And then, when I am finally honest, and willing to listen, then miracles can happen.  Some would call listening to God in moments like these, listening to your inner wisdom, or your instincts, but for me it is important to turn to someone who loves me.  And although I may not always act like it, I do (or want to?) believe that God loves me beyond description. I certainly experienced it during my accident in a multi-dimensional, supernatural way.  I’m not sure who said this but I agree with it…the most important thing we can do for ourselves and the world is to learn to live loved.  When you believe to your core that you are loved beyond measure, you have no fear, and then you can live like Einstein suggested…in a friendly universe.  Then our actions and reactions will reflect that security and we can live out that love in everything we do, even as we acknowledge pain.

The event that prompted this quote happened a few days ago.  I was fuming over a situation where I did not know what to do.  I was fuming because I felt trapped and helpless and I hate that feeling.  So I turned my anger toward God and ranted for a long time.  And then, I said, OK so now you have my anger, I have been honest….now SAY SOMETHING!  And I also yelled I’M LISTENING!  I laugh about it now but it was not pretty.  And the most innocuous little thing came to mind…I laughed out loud that a little stress buster idea from a magazine came to mind that I had read  earlier in the day popped into my head.  I found it later so I could cut it out as a reminder to myself that even when I have a temper tantrum God will speak to me.  “Negative thinking can fuel stress. So when damaging, unhelpful thoughts come to mind, ask yourself: How could I look at this in a more positive or at least a neutral light?” And it’s not like I hadn’t read this, or heard this, or told this to my kids a hundred times before…but I said to God…OK, give me a different perspective on this, please give me your perspective…and He did.  He did.  I was completely humbled.  The circumstances didn’t change, the problem still existed, but suddenly I wasn’t alone and I had hope.  And I am grateful.  For my life had become quite gray in the last while and this experience brought some color, texture and richness back into my life.

Anticipation

Here it comes!  The first day of school is so full of emotion: trepidation, anticipation, joy, sadness (summer is over after all), and wonder.  My children reflect all of those along with annoyance with my desire to get those first day of school photos.  I take this shot of them watching the bus approach every year.  It is a posed shot and they roll their eyes when I set it up…but I love how it reflects so much of what we are all going through on that first day.  It also makes me laugh at myself a little…at how I like to set things up and insert meaning into events that could just be on their own without any meddling from me. I do this a lot.  I plan these pictures in my head of what things will be and then when they don’t work out the way the picture in my head was planned I feel lost and disconnected from actual life.  And really, what part of life is ever exactly as you thought it would be.  In fact, I spend a lot of time planning future moments instead of living in the moment I am in.  Maybe, that makes me feel safer, more in control.  The future hasn’t happened yet, I can make it whatever I want it to be in my mind.  It’s fixed and predictable and comfortable and perfect.  So unlike the moment I am in which is messy, and chaotic, and rife with possibility.  And yet, isn’t that when we feel most fully alive?  When we are in the moment, and anything could happen, and we control almost nothing.  Now is when the dog might pee on the sofa (yup, just happened last night and it was notpart of my perfect plan!), or supper be rejected by all my children (again), or a friend might call (in the middle of a sibling squabble that I desperately try to hush up, because, after all that’s just a little too real).  Now is also when I have the opportunity to grow, to learn, to change, to laugh, or maybe to cry, to rant and connect to life.  Now is when my 8 year old son shares his favourite handheld game with his little sister, even though she was just snarky to him a minute ago.  Now is when my 10 year old taps me on the shoulder three times (our code for “I love you”).  Now is when I write, too. And I never know for sure what will appear on the page.  I may write about the past, or the future, but the writing happens in the present!  The thing about those future plans is they often have the merry-go-round feel to them.  Really pretty, lots of beautiful images, extremely safe and predictable.  But merry-go-rounds are also really boring once you’ve developed a taste for roller coasters.  I think the best thing about now is it’s fluidity, it’s potential, it’s fullness.  Those future pictures are flat, one-dimensional, and pretty limited.  Being open to possibility feels scary sometimes and in those moments I am tested in what I believe about God and the universe in which I live.  Einstein felt that what you believe about the universe was very, very important:

Einstein says… “I think the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’

“For if we decide that the universe is an unfriendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to achieve safety and power by creating bigger walls to keep out the unfriendliness and bigger weapons to destroy all that which is unfriendly - and I believe that we are getting to a place where technology is powerful enough that we may either completely isolate or destroy ourselves as well in this process.

“If we decide that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially ‘playing dice with the universe’, then we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning.

“But if we decide that the universe is a friendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to create tools and models for understanding that universe. Because power and safety will come through understanding its workings and its motives.”

I had always just heard the first part of this quote, but to read the full answer he gives provides me a with greater understanding as to why I sometimes choose the static, controlled, safe picture (which is an illusion anyway) instead of the fluidity, openness, and aliveness of life.  It all boils down to faith.  Do I believe that God is loving, and involved in what happens to me and to us here on earth?  In the midst of sibling squabbles, personal failures, tragedy, poverty, war, famine…do I really believe in a God of Love?  If I don’t I will do everything possible to protect myself and those I love, maybe to the detriment of the rest of humanity and so perpetuate the very things I’m trying to protect myself against.  But if I do believe in Love, then I will trust, and move out in that love.  I will look in each moment for the Love of God around me and in me. I will stop creating these perfect, one dimensional illusionary pictures to make me feel safe.  I will stop trying so desperately to control things I have no control over anyway.  And instead do the one thing I can control, my thoughts, I can use them to turn to Love.  To surrender to the wisdom of a loving God.  To allow myself to be used to serve this amazing Love.  It’s a roller-coaster, but it’s worth it!

Navel Gazing

People like me who like to read, and think, and write tend to do a lot of reflection…often of self.  Recently I read a metaphor of faith that bounced off my forehead while I was, you guessed it, navel gazing.  Bruxy Cavey, in his book, “The End of Religion” puts it this way: “A window is not beautiful in itself, and staring at one without looking through it misses the point.  Likewise, faith in and of itself is never the end goal. … Faith, like prayer, should be a way of connecting with God. I have talked with many spiritually seeking people who are struggling to find satisfaction because they are using the window of faith more like a mirror. They have caught sight of their own reflection in the window glass and have forgotten to adjust their depth of focus, to look beyond to see the beauty that surrounds them - the beauty that is God.”  I thought how too often this is true of me.  I get caught up in thinking about myself, and how everything affects me, and forget the grandeur and love of the God who has created all of this…including the human mind that is able to think about itself.  But then, it often feels empty beyond the window…the essence of God isn’t always tangible, and often I sense nothing at all.  Christine Lore Weber writes: “All life is a beginning. I need an open, spontaneous, joyful attitude that knows it does not need to know. I need emptiness in me…I need to find the part in my soul still able to be surprised, still open to wonder”.  And my spirit is soothed by these words.  When my faith seems empty and dark…when my physical senses can’t perceive the God “who is closer to me than I am to myself” and take comfort that He is there in the emptiness whether I can sense him or not.  That that expectancy, that void, is space I want him to fill.  So often I find myself rushing to fill that space with business…business of mind, of activity, of thought.  And this is human, to fear the space within that isn’t named, labeled, or analyzed by ego.  So I go there on purpose, or I attempt to, with a practice called ‘Centering Prayer’ as laid out in the book ‘Open Mind, Open Heart’ by Thomas Keating.  Making space for God to be God is not a natural activity for my mind…but well worth the effort.  When I spend time, in the spaces between thoughts, with God, ego loses its grip a little.  Joy and peace become more tangible and the hours that follow centering contain less ego and a stronger connection with Spirit. It allows me to drink in the beauty, like the sunset pictured at the beginning of this post more deeply. It enables me to love my children in a way that they feel the touch of Love through me, instead of my ego pulling something from them.  Sometimes I can even choose love instead of fear…which, I believe requires surrender to the miraculous power of Christ in us.  So, of course, this post is navel gazing, but helps me remember why I want to look beyond my thoughts, into the depth and grace and vastness that is Love.

Poised…

…at the foot of a mountain. Allow me to explain. Every summer we spend a few weeks at Falcon Lake.  We anticipate this vacation all year and as the summer approaches I start to really live in the future.  My focus becomes riveted to the experiences I anticipate will be soooo relaxing, enjoyable and memorable.  Unfortunately, something lies between me and my dreams…packing.  Oh how I loathe packing.  Because it is not just packing, it entails organizing, laundry, cleaning and shopping.  In my mind the tasks form a mountain that seems insurmountable.  Break it down the experts say, do it 15 minutes at a time, use gratitude in your process, visualize it and it will unfold, yadda, yadda, yadda.  In the end…I still procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate.  I can employ (well actually, think about employing) every trick in the motivation hand-book and I still find myself at the foot of the mountain with little time to climb it.  In fact, as I type I have about 18 hours of work with about 8 hours to do it in.  And that’s being optimistic.  Not to mention the sometimes unpleasant parenting experiences that go along with helping my children do their share of packing and tidying.  So here I sit, and type, and procrastinate…and God still presses into my heart, my soul, my being that nothing can separate me from God.  That God is here with me, in me and requires me to do absolutely nothing in order to receive Love.  And by this time tomorrow, somehow, it’ll all be done…hopefully I’ll get a little sleep in there somewhere. 

Give Your Head a Shake, Mom

The other day Jordan (my 6 year old) and I were changing in a tiny little changeroom at a waterpark.  We had enjoyed the sun and water all day and it was time to get going.  For me this process also involved removing my prosthesis and liner, and wiping excess moisture off my residual limb, and then putting it all back on again.  It’s a bit of a lengthy process.  Jordan, long changed, was sitting and waiting for me.  Then we had this little conversation:

Jordan: Mom, you know really are pretty slow sometimes.

Me: Mmmm Hmmm

Jordan: I know why you’re slow, mom.

Me: (amused) Why’s that?

Jordan: Because of all the stuff in your head.

Me: (Now I’m paying attention) What kind of stuff?

Jordan: Well, like all those thoughts you have about what you all have to do, you know, all your worries and stuff.

Me: (I’m completely taken aback at the wisdom of my little girl). Really.

Jordan: Yeah, and you know it makes you tired mom.

Me: Yeah, that’s true enough.  So what should I do about all the stuff in my head Jordan? (Here I’m starting to think that maybe God’s speaking to me through my little girl…and I’m gonna milk it for all it’s worth…get the complete message lol).

Jordan: Well, um….you should just…you know…shake your head really hard and get them out.  (Lots of activity here as she’s shaking her head and waving her hands for emphasis).

Me:  You mean I should ‘Give my head a shake’? (OK…I always knew God had a sense of humour but this really had me laughing!)

Jordan: Yeah!

I’ve been talking to God about a lot of this stuff lately and asking him to speak to me.  So when Jordan started giving some feedback on the very questions I had been asking God I sat up and paid attention.  God has used my children many, many times to tell me something I needed to hear.  I think Jordan knows how to live in the present, how to just be in the presence of her Creator.  In the photos below you see her dancing with the waves.  She lives most of her life in the moment…she doesn’t have all that stuff in her head about what she needs to do or what might happen if she doesn’t live up to some crazy expectations.  Can’t you just hear the Celtic Hymn, “Lord of the Dance” in the background as you look at the pictures?  Jordan can dance with the waves because she lives in the here and now and that gives her freedom to dance with her creator and his creation.  Children have so much they can teach us.

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he

Jordan’s solution of “Give your head a shake!” wasn’t the only way God responded to me that day.  Later I was on William P. Young’s blog.  He is the author of “The Shack” which is simply the best book I have ever read on the Triune God in relationship with us.  Anyway, he says the following about the stuff in our heads:

“…you get the idea.  I have written volumes of imaginations in my own head, things that have no substance, no reality, and are empty, vain imaginations.  But I treat them as if they are real.  I feel all kinds of terrifying and horrible emotions, and scramble to control my life so that these imaginations won’t actually come to pass.  THESE IMAGINATIONS ARE NOT REAL!!!!  But I had spent most of my life in or around them.  GOD DOES NOT DWELL IN ANYTHING THAT IS NOT REAL!!!  In these imaginations, Papa is conspicuously absent.  Why?  Because Papa has no interest in living inside something that isn’t even real to begin with.  So in my ‘vain’ empty imaginations, I am the only ‘god’ there is.  I have to fix things, make sure things turn out right, try to get a handle on people and events…and frankly, I do a very poor job of it…this playing god thing.  So, my life tended to be gripped by fear and I worked hard to get some ‘control’ to prevent these imaginations that I feared.  I had a habit of treating something that had no reality or substance as if it were truly real.

A couple years ago I stopped this insanity.  And here is what I discovered.  JOY has a name.  Joy is not only a fruit of the Spirit of God, but a manifestation of the presence of the very ‘real’ Jesus who dwells inside of us.  In fact, JOY had ‘never’ left me at all; it was me that continually left Joy, to run into some imagined future and resultant fear.  It had never been Joy that was the occasional acquaintance…it was me that had been the visitor.”

I had been asking God why Joy was so elusive for me…and part of the answer was that most of the time I lived in fear.  My fears are often so petty, which makes me feel even worse and I get very unhappy when I dwell in these places in my mind.  Jordan was very right when she said that all that stuff in my head made me slow and tired.  When Joy is absent, so is energy, and life.  Then everything seems covered in a grey oppressive mist.  But I am learning to live in the present where God lives.  When I remember to be here and now, then I meet the Triune God…because that’s where God dwells.  It’s a process and I think part of that process is learning to be like a child again…to live in the present and delight in God’s gifts…to just be with him.

Growth Along the Falcon Creek Trail

It amazes me how God can grow things anywhere, on rocks, in ice, on dead stuff.  Nature is forever in a state of change, either growth or decomposition, and sometimes, seemingly, both.  Nothing is ever truly still, even though it feels that way when hiking a trail in the Whiteshell.  All of nature vibrates with the energy of life, whether we perceive it or not.  I’m fascinated by mushrooms…how they grow on dead stuff (It gives me a bit of hope, that even when I feel dead, something might be happening, growing, in me, or in spite of me).  And the growth isn’t random, or accidental.  It’s patterned, purposeful and beautiful, as is the work of God everywhere. Ever practical, fungi serves its purpose.  But doesn’t it look like an alien world, full of strange shapes, vivid colours, and mystery? 

You may wonder how a hike with my kids could be so full of silence, and contemplation.  However, these days they race far ahead of me, shreaking in delight as they forge ahead, confident in their path.  They too have grown.  They do not need me to navigate this familiar trail. And I, now the slowest, trudge along with my walking sticks and notice the forest floor.  I have to keep close attention to the path in front of me, so as to keep my balance, and avoid tripping or a misstep.  With a prosthesis it’s no walk in the park, so to speak.  So I notice the forest floor, the mushrooms, the tiny spring flowers, the new sprouts of plants.  Sometimes I curse my lot, annoyed with being the slowest and I grumble.  But through the gifts around me God speaks to my angry, sullen heart…through the love and patience of Ric, and his kind words…through the beauty of the Whiteshell…  through a body that still moves, climbs, balances…even without two human legs.  I am grateful I can still walk the Falcon Creek Trail, slow as I am.

 

My oldest daughter is often the one that reminds me most of the unstoppable growth of my kids…maybe because she is the oldest and she is constantly surprising me with her new behaviors, attitudes and ideas.  She has become less interested in being photographed over the years and I have to catch her on the sly, or cajole her into photo shoots, (now, if it’s her idea, well that’s a different matter altogether).  This series shows how she alternatively… is disgusted with me, ignores me, humours me and/or uses humour to thwart my efforts. 

Of course, I love all these photos because they show the many sides of her personality.  Much to her chagrin none of these attempts to thwart my photography are effective, because I love how they show her personality and playfulness.

Jordan, on the other hand, loves the camera and I have to catch her on the sly for the opposite reason.  I love to capture the moments in time where I see the different moods of my children.  If Jordan sees the camera, I get a great big grin, (which I also love),  however, she has other sides as well, and I have to catch her unawares to capture them.  During this hike she was quite aware of the camera, and her joyful nature shines through.

And, of course, photos of Graeme either involve bribery, or a very powerful telephoto lens (the one I currently use is not nearly powerful enough).  It’s usually a battle of wills, how long is he willing to evade versus how patient I am. Am I patient enough to wait until he engages in something enough to forget about me?  Sometimes…but sometimes bribery is more efficient.  We both enjoy this game it seems…we have many other games we play  that feel very similar.  So these are part of the game:

 

 

 

 

 

And this was bribery:

May Long Weekend, Falcon Creek Trail, and our friends the Pauls always go together.  There has been growth and change over the years…the kids are older and faster…I’m a lot slower… dogs have come and gone…but what has stayed the same is the enjoyment of cottage life, Whiteshell Park beauty, and good friends.

Clouds

 

It is not Joy that makes you Grateful,

            but Gratitude that makes you Joyful.

                                -David Steindl-Rast

 

 

The other day as I was driving down a country road, and talking with God, I was once again caught up in the playful beauty of the prairie sky.  I had been reflecting on the many gifts I had received that day.  You see, I had spent part of the day at rehab and run into many old friends who remind me of the love that is flourishing in this world.  The uniqueness of each individual had gifted me with laughter, encouragement, connection and I felt a deep sense of gratitude.  As I was thanking my Creator for the many gifts of the day I noticed the sky and the clouds and was overcome with a sense of gratitude of a different sort… 

 

 

…because clouds, when I take the time to look, always take me to a place of wonder.  How playful, whimsical, and generous God has been in making this world.  How wonderful that God has given us the senses to perceive it.  Clouds help me remember gratitude…they help me remember who I am grateful to.  They are always changing and so they keep me present. Although they are practical, in that they are part of the system of weather that brings us moisture, or stores it until we need it, our Creator certainly didn’t make them look utilitarian. 

 

 

Clouds remind me to search for beauty in all things, including relationships, work, and play.  Clouds remind me to be playful in all areas of life.  Clouds can bring tears to my eyes because they somehow resonate, deep within my spirit, the majesty of God and His love for me, which is humbling and exhilarating altogether.  When I feel that surge of emotion, of awe and love and peace and buoyancy I feel so connected to the Love that is all around me, in me and watching over me.  I feel grateful.  It becomes a prayer without thoughts, without words, and for a few moments, time stops. 

My favourite author on the topic of gratitude is Brother David Steindl-Rast.  He has written a profound book called “Gratefulness, The Heart of Prayer: An Approach to Life in Fullness”.  Below is a video clip he put together about gratitude.  Take time to watch it, it’s beauty filled:

 

 

 

 

My Family

My family is where I focus my joy most fully.  What I give my energy to…and is the source of the many adventures of just being alive.  The thrills, and the spills, the fun & games and the frustrations, nothing gets better than this!  Because I always seem to be holding the camera there are few pictures of Ric and me together…something I’ll need to remedy someday.  By now Ali, actually all of our kids are, adept at taking shots…I think I need to give them the camera more!  But, here is the love of my life, my friend, my drinking buddy, my confidant, the person who at the end of the day will be there again the next day…how wonderful is that!  And you can see that his kids adore him as much as I do.  Ric and I have been married since 1991 or as he likes to say …. forever.  Ric has a pretty sardonic side to him…which usually I love, and sometimes I love to hate.  

Ali, pictured at right, is our oldest child, born in 1998.  She is a delight.  She loves art, horses, soccer (at least for this year), and swimming.  She is a intuitive and loving.  I am so blessed to be her mom.  One of these days when I finish her new room in the basement she wants to paint the bible verse “If the Son has set you free, you shall be free indeed” on the wall.  I just love that she has taken that verse as a motto for her life.  I hope she carries it with her forever.  As a mom, what I wish most for her is to be free… free to dance, free to be herself, free to love, free to laugh.  You go girl…I’m praying, and hoping and dreaming for you!

 And here is Graeme, my favourite son.  My one and only.  One of my greatest teachers.  He has steadily been teaching me to live in the moment, to hold nothing back, to play hard, and sleep fast, to snuggle and smile, to be extremely honest, and to try even if something is a little bit scary.  Graeme was born in 2000, a millennium baby.  He brings light and energy to our home and is the most tenacious human being I’ve ever met.  Graeme loves hockey, and most other sports.  He loves getting together with his buddies and believes I’m torturing him if I suggest that a daily playdate isn’t necessary for survival.  He also likes to be involved in whatever you might be doing…especially if it involves fire and/or food.  At age three he made a salad all on his own…including tearing the lettuce and spinning it…while I was in the other room!  Don’t worry he was using a plastic knife…but there is a whole other realm of stories about him that involve dangerous and sharp objects because he just naturally assumes that if mom or dad can do it…so can I.  That kind of confidence can turn a mother’s hair grey.

Jordan.  My joybringer.  I love this picture of her.  All three kids went parasailing while we were in the Dominican Republic this winter.  I wasn’t expecting Jordan to want to go, in fact we didn’t pay for her up front.  But once she saw others, that was enough convincing for her.  So she and I went up and enjoyed our bellies flipping over and the view and the thrill of flying so high in the sky.  It was amazing.  Jordan is one of those kids who is generally happy and helpful.  She’s loving and generous…but don’t cross her…she’s learned to fend for herself being the third in a very assertive brood.  She was born just 16 months after Graeme in 2001.  Jordan loves many things, and pours her heart into whatever is her current passion, whether that is gymnastics, playing with Polly (our new puppy) or skiing down a mountain.

 Of course, this post isn’t complete without introducing our newest addition.  Polly (Wolly Doodle) our new Labradoodle puppy.  She has brought lots of spunk and fun into our home.  And lots and lots of trips outside.  She is a sweet puppy and the kids all enjoy her.  They are especially thrilled that this puppy (she is the third they have known) will be allowed all over the house because she doesn’t shed. Hopefully, she can start taking advantage of her status soon, because as of right now I can’t let her out of my sight due to bladder control issues and the need to chew everything in sight.  But she is a puppy and we are enjoying her puppyness. 

 

 

 

 

 

And so it begins…

Hey it’s my birthday!  And I’m wondering how can I make this birthday unique? I’ve had so many you know.  So,  I figure starting a blog might be unique…well at least for me since I’ve never done this before. I have no idea what I’m doing and the fact that this is online attests to great determination and a huge learning curve.  Anyway, I wanted a way to share our lives with family and friends…especially those who aren’t interested in facebook or can’t access it due to gigantic firewalls etc. etc.  Why is it that these people can make me feel guilty just by how they say, “Facebook, OH NO, we would never let our computer go there…it’s so dangerous! (I think they are referring to viruses but I’m not sure since I never feel like extending conversations where I think I’m somehow looking like an imbecile to someone lol!)  Anyway, the other reason I thought it might be good to have a blog is it’s a way of documenting our lives…since I get sooooo far behind in scrapbooking and I do love to write - weird I know.  Of course, the scary details won’t be shared here and I will attempt to throw our lives into the best possible light.  Ric likes to joke that ‘Scrapbooking is supposed to represent life…not the other way around.’ … I wonder if he’ll make the same comment about the blog lol.  Love ya, Ric!